I've been posting a lot recently.
When I used to think about myself as LDS, I felt insecure as a Mormon. As a minority, really.
This was in spite of the guarantees of the church that one day the world will all be Mormon, and anyone who doesn't believe it now will know it's true some day (even if it's after they die). Basically, even though I mostly believed that I knew the truth, and everyone would admit I was right one day, I still felt nervous about believing things not too many people believe.
Now, I find myself in another minority: atheists. I entertain no notions that the world will slowly-but-surely give up the superstitious religions of the past, I've admitted to myself that the world will probably always be largely religious. I also admit that most people who believe wrong things will probably never know they were wrong (given that there is no afterlife where god gets to say "gotcha!").
So why am I so much more confident? I don't give a damn now, where I was so uncomfortable before. I have never felt like I understood my own beliefs like I do now. I don't need people to stop attacking atheism (although I guess I do get irked by the stupid reasoning behind, I don't know, all of the arguments). Basically, everything I am says "Bring it on!"
I never wanted to organize protests and boycotts as a Mormon, I really kind of didn't like them. Now, I'm ready to march! Get something together at BYU, like some of us were talking about the other night at the gathering of atheists I attended the other night.
Maybe this is the first time I have really believed in a cause, even if it's just getting fair treatment for myself and those who think similar to myself. I was timid as a Mormon (the mission really sucked, even after I learned to swallow my disgust at my own desperate tactics), but I feel bold as an atheist. True, I don't admit it to everyone around me, because I need to keep hidden from administrative eyes if I want to finish my degree at BYU. Once I'm done and have my diploma in hand, I'll make no pretense.
You know what? I might just write up a mocking email to the Honor Code Office (from an anonymous email address) telling them that they'd better get their bishops discerning better, because I've had two so far who've missed that fact that I'm an apostate. Tell them that if they don't want people coming up with blasphemous lyrics for the hymns under their breath in sacrament meeting, they should let Mormons change their religious status. Tell them that I happily disseminate truth about church history (though always under the pretense of being a well-studied believer), shoot down arguments I hear against atheism, and otherwise sow my tare seeds of apostasy among their unsuspecting student body.
If I do end up sending something like that, I'll be sure to post it.